It has definitely been awhile since the last post. Ever since starting Grad School, I’ve been focusing way too much on my journey, and not on everyone’s journey around me. This includes my family.

This being said, I want to discuss a highlight of mine each week. I absolutely love taking our son to Tae Kwon Do. Is he the biggest? No. Is he the best? No. Does he have the highest color of belt? Hardly. Does he have fun? YES! I love to watch him squirrel around, mess around, and sometimes actually do some kicking and punching. Through it all, he’ll tell you the best time in class is when they play dodgeball before class. I don’t care. He makes me proud, and he’s just so funny to watch.

So imagine how I felt when a Dad stormed to his son after class on Tuesday, yelling at him (in front of every parent and kid in the hallway) for sitting down on the sidelines towards the end of class.  Why was he sitting there? I don’t know! I do know he is a sweet-hearted 7 year-old, and probably wasn’t in trouble. His Dad wasn’t there to see what happened, and ask his son about it. He walked through the double doors, saw his son on the TV monitor…and assumed he was in trouble. Needless to say, said kid was on the verge of tears walking out the doors. We all felt sorry for him. I feel sorry for the Dad. He just doesn’t get it. I do not want to be “that Dad”.

It’s good to be married to a woman that doesn’t want to be “that Mom”. Take for instance this video. It was E’s first dance class. She is a young 3 years-old. Was she the best dancer? No. Did her taps go with the beat? No. Was she having fun? YES. Why care about the details. Think about your actions as a parent, and don’t forget to encourage your kids to have fun. They’re only young for awhile, you know. They have a long journey ahead of them. Why not be an encourager.

I also carved out 5 minutes to take a few pics of our kids. Here are the fruits of my labor.  No matter how maddening it might seem during the course of your day or week…don’t forget to capture the moments. It turns frustration into smiles in no time.

Oh yeah, she's tough!

What I love is that even at 72, she still calls on others for advice based on their experience. This story reminds me of a great adventurer and friend, Ed.  He’s never trekked to the North Pole or paddled the Amazon (to my knowledge). Instead of fading into retirement, he is doing stuff that is inspiring to many folks. For example he completed a list of 70 new things on the year he turned 70. He didn’t stop there, but has some great ideas on what to do before he turns 75. After you watch this clip of Mrs. Thayer, click on over to Ed’s blog at http://www.entritschler.blogspot.com

www.youtube.com/watch?v=klSWGsE1fsU

Alan Arnette

I recently had the opportunity to connect with Alan Arnette, someone I’ve admired for quite some time. He is widely known for his written contributions to Outside Magazine and his yearly coverage of expeditions to Mount Everest. His website, www.alanarnette.com is one of the most read sites about mountaineering in the world.

Experiencing an enormously successful career with Hewlett-Packard, and given his experiences in the high alpine world of snow, ice, rock and glaciers…he has shared some down-to-earth thoughts about life and success.

I invite you to sit back and read excerpts from our emailed conversation:

EC: How did you choose your current job?

AA: With an EE degree, I interviewed on campus and took a job offer from HP amongst several others. My primary focus was to get into business management, so unlike many of my University peers, I chose sales, not engineering as my first step.

EE: Would you describe yourself as following a “career path”?

AA: Absolutely not. While I knew as a teenager that I wanted a career involving business; my path took me through areas of personal interest and growth. For example, I never had any interest in customer support yet moved to Europe to run a pan-European customer support center primarily for the life experiences. That opportunity lead me to running all customer support for Europe, Middle East and Africa-a business job. That experience was the highlight of my career and was not by design but by being opportunistic.

EC: Are you doing what you think you were “created” to do?

AA: I have no idea. I do know that I made a difference in many people’s lives…and that is a satisfying feeling. I think if you try to do the right thing, no mater what your job or role is, then you make a difference in a positive way.

EC: Do you have a “dream” job?

AA: My dream job has always been to be a positive influence. I believe what defines success is not the daily activities but the daily result and your impact. We often get hung up on what I call the activity trap where we focus on the how’s and what’s and not the why’s. If you know why you are doing something then the rest falls into place.

At this point in my life, I want to make a contribution to finding a cure for Alzheimer’s. I use my mountaineering as the conduit to raise awareness and research funds. It is tough because Alzheimer’s has a stigma of being an incurable, old person’s disease that is not as important as cancer or childhood obesity for example. But as I work on my plans, I am encouraged by the reaction from friends and strangers alike, and that positive influence fuels my journey.

EC: What advice would you give someone just starting out his or her career?

AA: Two things: Focus on experiences, not ownership…and Listen to your instincts.

We often get hung up on checking off the bucket list through having things… it is the experiences of life that you remember and shape you, not what you had.

Also, we all have an inner voice that is real. It is sometimes clouded by the noise around us with information overload, and headlines that are sensationally designed to grab our attention. But deep down we all know what is right and wrong, as well as where we should be and what we should do. Getting in touch with our inner voice allows for a sense of confidence and satisfaction throughout life-even when you find yourself on a detour.

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Please visit  http://www.alanarnette.com  to learn more about Alan, and support the amazing work he is doing with Alzheimer’s research.  You can also follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

Mt Rainier

My son and I were recently in the car, talking about our recent trip to Colorado, when he piped up and said “Daddy…you just need to get over the mountains”. That’s quite opinionated for a 4 year-old, but his love for the beach is always evident. Oh, I like the water, but it’s mountains that spark my imagination and feed my soul. I’m a better dad and husband for it. Let me explain why.

Last year I signed up for a guided climb up Mt Rainier with International Mountain Guides. This was my first trip on a big mountain with a guide service.  Our group was comprised of 4 guides and 8 clients, all with differing personalities, abilities and experiences…but with one goal at the time. A successful climb to the summit. By the end of our trip, it was evident the payoff was much bigger than spending 30 minutes on top of a heap of rock. Here are some insights from our trip I thought were worth sharing.

Focus On Today. Prior to the climb, we had an introductory meeting with the guides. After fielding various questions about what, how and when to do things on the mountain, our lead guide, Chris, gathered us around and gave us this rule as our primary tenet. Focus On Today, he said. You can ask me about tomorrow…tomorrow!

While our first days on Rainier were beautiful, the evening prior to our summit push was filled with conversation about the disintegrating route above us, and the imminent storms closing in. Chris just smiled and reminded us of his first rule. He told us to focus on eating and getting some sleep. This is what we could control right now. By the time we went to bed, the wind was howling. Privately, I’m sure people worried if we were going to get a shot at the summit.

Summit morning came, and the winds died down. We were off at 1am in good conditions. We summitted @ 7am with freezing temperatures and blowing snow, but it was fine. We made it. Any amount of worrying could not have changed the weather or conditions on the mountain. That last night in my loud, flapping tent turned out to be my most restful night of the trip.

Teamwork Is Essential. Our rope teams consisted of 4 people who practiced and trained together as a team. By the time we reached the summit, we were looking out for each other and functioning with true teamwork. I would argue that having a focus that included others enhanced my experience on the mountain. It’s about preparation, communication, trust and sharing.

Be Willing To Learn New Skills. Just because I love mountains didn’t mean I automatically knew how to put on crampons, tie mountaineering-specific knots, cross a crevasse, or how to self-arrest on a steep, icy slope. I didn’t. Life is the same way.  Be willing to learn and ask questions from someone more experienced, and apply what you are learning. This is good advice whether you’re a parent, husband, climber, manager or photographer.

Don’t Wait For Perfect Conditions. Do your best to be prepared for what life throws at you…it’s not a perfect world.

Enjoy The Journey. I don’t climb solely for the view at the top. You’re never assured a spot at the summit. In fact, there was no view at the top of Rainier that morning. We were totally socked in with clouds. My journey started months before in the gym, hiking beautiful trails prior to our climb, meeting new friends at the IMG orientation, learning how to navigate on snow and glaciers, and getting back down tired but safe. In some ways I’m still on that journey, with emails and correspondence from friends I made on the mountain.

Life doesn’t have to start and stop with each adventure or vacation. Search for takeaways, stories, and lessons to share about each experience.  I bet you’ll find friendships to be richer, and more colorful along the way.

1. Make It Fun. When our family photographer comes to the house, she immediately makes eye contact with the kids, plays with them, and asks them questions. She has always insisted on letting them run around and be silly. By taking pictures of them doing what they do, the results are great. Miles of smiles and silly poses. These are the ones you remember!  And yes, I do recommend using a family photographer.

2. See Things From A Different Angle. Posed shots are nice…but I bet the pictures that hit your memory bank aren’t the traditional “family pictures”.

Shoot From Above.  My son has a habit of looking down grates and storm sewers. I have several photos taken directly above him, looking down at various grates throughout the country. One is even framed and hanging in our basement. To me, this vantage creates a feel of exploration and amazement on the subjects behalf.  I also love when they are looking upwards to the camera…it can convey a sense of vulnerability, knowing someone bigger is taking care of things.

Shoot From Below.  This reminds us how small children really are, in relation to the whole world. I love shots taken from the bottom of slides and playground equipment, with the sky in the background.

Shoot From Their Eye Level.  After all, this is how they view the world.

3. Don’t Forget To Use Props. This is good advice for a few reasons.  Kids are comfortable and happy when they are holding their toys or their favorite blanket. Capture this, you will appreciate it as they (and you) grow older. Nobody loves to sing more than our son. We have a wonderful picture of him leaning over a microphone…with a cute grin. We also have photos of our kids with various toys in their hands, or even favorite books in the foreground.

4. The Eye’s Have It. Keep them in focus. Have you ever taken pictures that truly captured wonderful moments…but the eyes were out of focus. It’s almost heartbreaking. I recently took a picture of our girls laying in a sun-drenched crib. The composition and streaming light was perfect, but their eyes were out of focus. Unless you are staging a shot where you want to focus on something like an ice cream cone getting ready to be licked (with eyes/mouth in the background)…be diligent.

Additional Tip: Strive to get “Catch Lights” instead of “Red Eye”.  Catch Lights are reflections in the eyes…and will surely draw your eyes to their eyes in the photo. Angle your child towards a light source and experiment.

5. Be Focused. Here are a few more tips that could help you out.

Understand Depth Of Field. Most great portraits have a very shallow depth of field (area in focus). I mentioned earlier on the importance of keeping the eyes in focus. Experiment with a lower F-stop. The lower the numbers (ie 1.4, 1.8, 2.8…) will result in a shallower depth, creating a softer feel on everything else (since they are out of focus).

Use The Background To Tell A Story. One of my favorite pictures is of a trafficked child, rescued off of Lake Volta in Ghana. He has a big, but slightly and sad uneasy smile. Out of focus over his left shoulder are villagers standing by a boat. The depth of field portrays a sense that he is leaving that life behind him.

Experiment With Different Lenses.  Or if you have a zoom lens…use it. The dramatic wide angle (the lower #, like 24 or 28) will give you a different look and feel than a tightly cropped telephoto shot (higher #,like 135 or 200). Where a wide angle shot might convey a sense of wonder, the tight zoom shot will showcase a different part of their personality.

No Horns. Pictures are never good if your subject has horns, or a tree growing out of their head.

Keep Experimenting…because I plan on announcing a photography contest very soon.

Above All…Keep It Fun…Each Day With Your Kids Is A Gift

I’ve been interviewing men with a series of questions that touch on this theme of career/life. The participants represent different ages, stages of life, and careers.  The answers I’ve been getting back are both informative and surprising. One responder commented that it  “Feels good to think about these questions”. There is something both difficult and yet satisfying when you sit down with the idea of evaluating your life and sharing the results.

Interested in being part of the survey? Answer these questions and send it to eric@focusonthejourney.com.  I plan on writing a series of posts and articles, based on the responses.  I can assure you that your information will be confidential.

• How did you choose  your current job?

• Are you doing what you went to school for?

• How satisfying is your current career/job? (1-10 scale. 1 being absolutely not to 10 being absolute joy)

• How many job and career changes have you had since college?

• Would you describe yourself as following a “career path”?

• Are you doing what you think you were “created” to do?

• Do you have a “dream” job?  if so, are you working to make it a reality?

• What advice would you give someone just starting out his or her career?

The more I thought about that sign, the more relevant  it became.  Just fill in the blank. The Road To ____________ Is Always Under Construction. For example, it could be the road to A Better Marriage, Expressing Yourself, Being An Effective Boss, Being Grateful, Developing Deeper Relationships, Better Photography, or even Saving For Retirement. The list could go on, but in this case,  my road with FocusOnTheJourney is definitely under construction.

What this website looks like today, might be different than this time next year. However, I don’t want to wander too far off the path, because I created this as a tool to help remind me that if each day and relationship is a gift, I need to treat it as such… and that takes work. If you haven’t figured it out yet, life can be lonely if you constantly try to figure things out on your own. When you make mistakes (and experience successes) along the way, see them as learning experiences and strive to share your lessons learned to a close friend… or even a long-lost friend. I see exercises like this as “paving your path” on the road of life.

If you are looking for  articles, stories, interviews, photographs,and surveys to give you an encouraging nugget to help you along the way… welcome. I might even throw a few contests in the mix to liven things up!  Look at this as a tool you can reference to deepen your current relationships, create new relationships, or even rekindle untended relationships.

I’m more a photographer than writer, so it’s my intent to post a photo with each post. Hopefully it will be relevant to each topic. More importantly, I hope each topic is relevant to you. And hey, if you want to contact me about a freelance assignment, bring it on. Our bank account would appreciate it!

I have always learned through experience and hearing other people tell their story, so you will soon find these pages full of human interest stories based on surveys and interviews. An upcoming post will be from the results of a career survey I am currently distributing to men of various ages/careers/walks of life.  If you would like to participate, feel free to email me at eric@focusonthejourney.com.  I’d like to have them turned in by March 23, 2010. Here are the questions.

1.  How did you choose your current job?

2. Are you doing what you went to school for?

3. How satisfying is your current job/career (1-10) 1 being absolutely not, 10 being absolute joy

4. How many job and career changes have you had since college?

5. Would you describe yourself as following a “career path”?

6. Are you doing what you were “created” to do?

7. Do you have a “dream job”? if so how are you making this a reality.

8. What advice would you give someone just starting out his or her career?